1. |
Chokehold
02:59
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Looking back is a chokehold they say
Things look better my dear when they exist in yesterday.
Everyone has turned away from me
Now everyone has words to say to me.
You can count on your feelings for a while
Some wish for it all, I just wish I had a nicer smile
To smile for you, a quick catastrophe
How long my dear till you turn away from me?
Used to dream of the barbed wire on the door
Feel it pressing against me as blood rolls to the floor
Was that what you would have wanted?
So don't blame me, your guilt is hot
You've missed the mark, wasted your shot
And the best you'll get is poison now
To do with what you wish
I can't complain about all that cocaine in your brain
Cause you weren't ever gonna be a man
Who have you told about the embers in your soul
I'm running out of things to do
Won't waste my time enticing you.
I'm running out of air to breathe
Not scared of death, just scared you'll leave.
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2. |
Numb Again
03:54
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I am trying not to be influenced by this debris
But it's got a hold of me, yeah it's got a hold of me
And I'm scared when I'm awake, beaten down by my mistakes
Used to let it get to me, shattered by the gravity.
A new moment, a new day, words too ruinous to say
Secrets cold enough to keep, tears too ravenous to weep
When I'm warm, I'm by your side, otherwise I'll just divide
Up amongst the tragedy, everybody gets a part of me.
Empty words and empty pride, all those times you let it slide
Let yourself get lost again, you touch the flame but there's no feeling
You're numb again
You're numb again.
I'll be emotionless someday after I push it all away
Drowning out the melody, killing time and memories
But I hope the day won't come that I'm less than who I was
yeah those times I left behind they let me know that I'll survive.
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3. |
Ward
03:33
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Saw a girl at the hospital
She was beautiful, I wondered what was wrong with her.
She said "People say I've hurt them, I think I hurt me too
But the bruises that I left myself are not black or blue
They're inside
Some sort of parasite."
Her eyes were bright but empty, her hair a faded gold
Her embrace must have been warm once
But her hands were freezing cold.
She said, "Please don't tell the doctor,
But I ate nothing today.
I've got no problem with my body, I just want to waste away.
I deserve to waste away.
I deserve to waste away."
I deserve to waste away.
She's fallen in love twice, she said, or maybe more like three
"One was distant, one was sweet, and I think one was just like me
But they all left me stranded for some other girls they saw
ones who didn't come with sadness, ugly problems or the flaws."
She said, "They're all beautiful
And that's something I can't be."
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4. |
Topography
02:30
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My father was a scholar, he used to write but
he never let me read.
My mother was a flower, she once painted but
she never let me see.
I think the pair was scared of me, their promising daughter
Discovering the reality of their broken dreams.
My body ships emotion, is a vessel
Guess I should have been a dancer.
Then rather than suffocating you with language,
I could show, not tell.
I'm not the one imagining the reason I exist
I swear on my lizard green eyes, there's too much you would miss.
I know that there's a girl out there who sees you the way I do.
I don't know much about her but I pray to God she's right for you
And hopefully she'll spread her wings so I can see you smile
I will find comfort in her, knowing that she loves you too.
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5. |
Masterpiece
04:09
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Sorry about everything.
If I'd known how to treat another living being, we'd be fine.
I still have a few of our photographs
The ones we were drunk in, the ones I was loved in
Guess I'm still looking back.
And it's hard when I know that you open your eyes every morning
Your eyes every morning
And shower your love onto her.
And I know that I've collected myself
So I told you I'm content with myself
But there's one thing left I've got to say:
I'll be better someday.
Summers are not what they used to be.
I used to feel high, now I'm just killing time
So it can't kill me.
I still want to join you for dinner sometimes
But she's in my place, a much friendlier face
Things I just can't change.
It's so hard when I think back on everything
I ever told you, the times when I'd scold you
And twist our love into pain.
I can't breathe with these regrets in my head
That I thought had been laid to rest
But I guess some things will never breathe
Destroy my masterpiece
We were a masterpiece.
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